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Magpie’s Story

Articles, Education, International, Testimonials, Treatment

(Dealing with Addiction on Golden Pond)

#6: The Heartfelt Reality of Being Functional

I’m still 28 days out from checking into DARA. I’m struggling to stay afloat. I would
love to take off for Thailand tomorrow. I pray I can make it another 28 days. The
reasons for the delay are complicated, focusing primarily on financial issues.

Another reason might possibly be my cursed blessing of being functionality. I am
100% Irish and have addiction on both sides of my family. There is no doubt that I am
genetically predisposed. And, may I dare say, that as a culture we Irish have, over
time, developed an amazing tolerance for alcohol. Personally, my climb to the top of
the addiction pyramid happened very gradually….over 40 years. I have no trouble
admitting publicly that I have reached the top that pyramid and that there is no place
for me to go at this point but down.

The problem with my being functional is that everyone expects that of me. And, I
don’t want to ever let myself or anyone else down. I will do as much as others ask of
me or I ask of myself within the limits of my current state of health.

Today, I was asked to run an errand by a contractor I’m employing. I ran the errand
successfully, but with two very close calls driving on the highway. If it weren’t for
those two other drivers’ quick reactions, we’d all be dead.

Another essential aspect of functionality is that, even when I gently tell loved ones
how poorly I’m feeling, either they don’t believe me or they don’t know what to do
about it or they don’t care.

In journal/diary fashion, let me just conclude by saying that I have a 9:00 a.m.
appointment with an Addiction Psychiatrist tomorrow. The part of my brain that can
still think, tells me to call a cab. That will be costly, very costly. The other part of my
brain tells me that I can make it to 9:00 a.m. without a drink. And, I probably can.

But, I also have severe chronic sinusitis which also wreaks havoc on my frontal cortex
and my inner ear throwing off my balance, judgement and even my eyesight (dry eye).
I wish I had a support system that could really hear, empathize and help out.

I hope that in writing this I did not offend anybody, but those are my heartfelt
thoughts in this moment in time.

As always, look foreword to your thoughts.

With compassionate understanding,

Magpie

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Fighting Addiction By Being Selfless

Articles, Australia, International, Understanding Addiction

Addicts are usually very selfish beings. Not that anyone can hold that against them, really. It is, after all, a byproduct of their condition. Addiction can make anyone suffer from severe tunnel vision and inability to empathize. How to regain the ability to be selfless and caring for someone else but yourself? By slowly chipping away at the self-imposed shackles of selfishness most addicts have chained themselves up with.

But how? How do you get out of the routine of caring only for yourself?

To begin, it is important to remember that addicts generally being selfish do not make them bad people. As a rule of thumb, anyway. There are always exceptions of course, but we are talking about the overwhelming majority here.

Midbrain once again is at the front and center of today’s topic. It dominates so many addiction related issues for a very good reason. Without repeating ourselves too much from our previous article, midbrain governs impulsive satisfaction of urges, desires, and needs. Since addiction and drug use in general hyper-stimulates this particular part of our brain, it has a proverbial monopoly on blood supply. This allows for midbrain and its urge satisfying functions to dominate the addict’s behavior.

Selfishness as a character trait becomes more and more prominent in the addict as the time passes and the disease takes hold. This can cause the addict to distance themselves from people they used to love and care for. It can turn a social and loving person into a social outcast and a pariah.

Service as a tool for recovery

What does one do when a scale is lopsided? You must add to the short side until equilibrium is restored. Sounds simple, and in theory, it really is, however when it comes to applying this idea in real life, various obstacles begin to appear.

Selfless acts, generosity and community service contribute to addicts recovery because it stimulates entirely different part of the brain, specifically, the frontal cortex. This is where the brain considers and processes wisdom, calculated thought, pre-meditated actions, and empathy. Stimulating this area of the brain with acts of kindness and selflessness the addict is able to control his impulsive urges of the midbrain, which would make him act selfishly and without a solid scale of values.

The aforementioned obstacles that make this process so hard are the resilience of our brain. It can be both a blessing and a curse at times. For an addict to become addicted, this resilience is broken down with help of drugs and various addictive substances. Changing the way your brain operates without such “help” is much harder than one might think.

It takes many years of rigorous training by doing community work, helping people move their home and generally helping others out in one way or another, for the brain to accept this kind of behavior as the norm.

Speaking of norms in brain activity in the context of addiction is almost silly. There is no such thing really, knowing how different each and every one of us is. If you present a situation to 100 people, you will witness 100 different ways of dealing with said situation. Sure, there will be similarities, but ultimately for one human being to deal with a challenge or an obstacle in an identical way as someone else is practically impossible. Our individual way of thought is as unique as our DNA sequence or fingerprints.

 

It is highly recommended and encouraged in most self-respecting rehabs to do some kind of selfless act every day, as little and insignificant as it may be. Help someone with carrying something heavy, lend them a needed item for a while. Even just complimenting someone on their appearance or actions goes a long way towards addiction recovery. Every little bit counts.

 

Be selfless. Be kind. Be considerate. Sounds easy enough, but for an addict to reach a point in their lives where this kind of attitude comes naturally is a huge stepping stone towards recovery. One stepping stone of many, but every one of them counts.

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Hardest Skill To Learn – Patience

Articles, Australia, International, Understanding Addiction

Patience is a skill that addicts generally lack. They may have had a firm grasp on the concept of patience at some time in the past, but with addiction, that skill just slowly disappeared. Waiting and giving things time to progress is a concept that is altogether alien to a veteran addict. How can it be any other way, considering that he needs that next bump just to survive, or at least he believes he does. Continue reading “Hardest Skill To Learn – Patience”

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Breaking The Ice

Articles, Australia, International, Understanding Addiction

Addiction is not an easy topic to discuss. Especially in a family setting, where everyone cares for each other. There is a little-known paradox when it comes to talking about sensitive topics with your family members. Everyone is so convinced that they all have each other’s best interests in mind, that some families have left an addict among them to continue with his bad habits just because all of them thinking that surely someone else has already spoken to him about it. Surely.

The sad reality is that speaking with a family member about a suspected drug addiction, dependence and even abuse is extremely uncomfortable and often gets put off until it is already too late. Continue reading “Breaking The Ice”

addiction-letting-go-dara

How Addiction Can Make You Let Yourself Go

Articles, Australia, International, Understanding Addiction

As a general rule of thumb, addicts or “junkies”, as they are referred to in movies and pop-culture, are usually dirty, messy and generally unpleasant to be in the vicinity of. Surely, that is all just fabricated movie nonsense right?

While quite a lot of it is indeed added for dramatic effect, most of these opinions are indeed well founded and do exist for a reason. Let us look at how addiction and dependence influence the addict, making them break social norms and ignoring hygiene rules that everyone understands as given. Continue reading “How Addiction Can Make You Let Yourself Go”