An addict that is lying. What else is new? It is a given, right? Not necessarily. While it is true that addicts will lie, cheat, steal and in very extreme cases will resort to violence in order to get their next dose, not all addicts are liars.
For one, to lie about something the person must be doing it consciously. They need to be fully aware of the truth before they can lie about it and be called a liar. If you know you broke something and when asked if you know who did you deny any knowledge, you are lying. If something happens due to your direct or indirect influence and you honestly don’t know about it, you are not lying when denying involvement or knowledge about it.
Now that we established what lying is, what is being dishonest? Most people will clutch to lies yet again, but you can be dishonest without uttering a word of a lie. How? By being dishonest with yourself.
Admitting defeat is no easy thing to do. Even more so, if that has to be done in front of people you look up to, respect and love. To admit defeat to oneself is even harder.
To have any real chance at recovery and addict must want to be clean. That much is painfully clear. In very few cases people who are forced to get clean actually stay clean. They lose their focus and after being dismissed from inpatient rehab, they usually relapse within a month or two, sometimes the very day they get out. Why go through the ordeal of detox and long sleepless nights in wet sheets if all you are going to do when out is get hooked again? Usually to prove a point. A point that they can do it if they wish. But they just don’t wish it.
A popular musician going into rehab. Again. That is nothing new, right? We have heard of people struggling with the drive to become clean on more than one public occasion. It does not have to necessarily be a public event either. If a parent forces an addicted child to check in a rehab, it will not always work. There are cases where people came without hope or a wish to get clean, only because their loved ones threatened to leave their lives, or parents threatening to strike the child from their inheritance if they don’t get clean, they usually do not have the drive to really do it. Many of these find their spirit and their own reasons to live a fulfilling and functional life in the process of rehabilitation. Many do not. Why is that?
Honesty. To be truly honest with oneself is a very emotionally freeing sensation. To be brutally honest with yourself and those around you takes strength. It takes a lot of strength to admit, that you are weak, as crazy as it sounds. We are not talking about physical strength, but rather a mental fortitude to face the cold truth and submit to it.
Proof is in the pudding
Many who have been forwarded or introduced to this article, might find themselves confused as to why are you even reading this. Perhaps someone thinks you may have a problem that you need to come to terms with. Why would someone be reluctant to admit that they have an addiction problem? Being dismissive and even insulted is the first reaction anyone has when they are told that they might be addicted to something. At this point, it is important to understand, that these words are not said out of malice or spite. They are not meant to hurt, but rather to help and guide. You must step back and look back at your life from a different perspective. Not necessarily the people who are saying these things, but any perspective that is not your own. The treacherous thing about addiction is that an addict is heavily biased toward their choice of hobby. A heavily addicted person can not trust their own reasoning when it comes to using, as the addiction psychologically rewrites the user’s brain and fills in any gaps that ensure continued use.
- Try to remember things that you have neglected due to your passion for substance use. It can be a hobby, a person, a job.
- Compare the amounts and frequency of use to what it was like when you just tried it.
- Step back and listen to what people that care for you are saying to you.
- Do some research and draw parallels to your own life and habits.
- Try to place your substance at the top of a sheet of paper, and then draw connections how it has affected your life. You will see how it cascades and permeates almost all aspects of your life.
- Drug abuse is not cheap. They are expensive because they are highly illegal and usually drive people to spend extraordinary amounts of money. How much do you spend, and how much you could save if you did not have to?
Being honest is not easy. No one ever said it will be. But there is help and support should you choose to accept it. There are people who have dedicated their lives to help people get their lives together, most of them do so because they have survived an addiction themselves. Many of these professionals have lost someone they loved to an addiction and now dedicate their lives to make sure it doesn’t happen to someone else. These people are trained and experienced counsellors, advisors, physicians and orderlies, nurses and caretakers. You need to surround yourself with people who care.
Above all, you must care yourself and be honest about your misgivings and shortcomings.