There comes a day in any addicts life when there is just nowhere left to go but up. Rock bottom, they call it. Most addicts realize things need to change only when they reach this stage. Some come to their senses sooner, but that is a very rare. Either way, a reason to become sober has to be found. No addict will ever become sober “just because”, there are always a few reasons that trigger the will to change and provide the drive to persevere through the difficulties of the path to recovery. Here are a few good reasons that any addict should contemplate and consider kicking their bad habits.
Change
The broadest of all good reasons to become sober. Seems only fitting, to begin with it. When you take a step back and look at your life from the outside, what do you see? Most of the time it is not a pleasant view. Looking back, the road you took is often littered with people you hurt and cheated, wasted potential and broken promises. Getting sober to turn this around and simply being better is a great reason.
Memories
When most of your days are spent in a haze of drug-induced euphoria or simply erased from memory by drinking yourself into a stupor there is very little to show for it. The brain doesn’t register and store memories if it is overwhelmed by various chemicals that induce visions and dreams. Same goes for when you have used so much that you just pass out until the next day if you are lucky. Prolonged abuse even reaches back and slowly erodes dear and cherished memories of friends and family, from the time when you were happy. From the time when they were with you.
Parenthood
It is a truly harrowing feeling, that moment when you realize you have failed as a parent. If your years of drug abuse has not erased your childhood memories yet, you remember what it was like to have a mother, a father, and understand, that your own children will never have that kind of memories if you don’t stop. They have to be self-reliant because your addiction has made sure you miss school events, they have to pack their own lunch, their hygiene lacking because you didn’t even notice their dirty clothes or unkempt hair. All that mattered was the next hit. To better your children’s lives is any parents duty, the only duty, really. If an addiction has come between you and this most important of parental responsibilities, it is quite obvious what needs to be done.
Love
Do you remember what it was like to be looked at by your significant other with passion, love, and desire? Most likely these days they look at you with pity, sadness and perhaps even contempt. How could they not? They married a different person, one that could take care of themselves and did not act a fool in public and among friends. Perhaps abusive attitude drove a wedge between you and now they are just putting up with you, for whatever reason. Ever think they would be better off without you dragging them down? Wasting their years as much as you do your own. Being a better spouse is a great reason to become sober, no one should suffer due to your bad decisions, least of all people who love you.
Providing
Any addict will tell you, having a “hobby” like that is not cheap. In the case of drugs, most of them are highly illegal which allows for the dealers to set the price. In the case of alcohol, damage done to your health as well as personal and public property does not come cheap to fix or replace. Most addicts will sell their most prized possessions, often even those of friends and family, just to get that one more bump, just to stop the pain, judgment and self-loathing. This means that your spouse and children can not trust you to provide for them and their future. No education, no summer camps, no Christmas, no anniversaries, no vacations. The list goes on. Getting sober to provide and secure the future of your family is paramount. If when you look at your own family, can you honestly be proud and say that you have done well by them? Didn’t think so.
These and much more are great reasons to become sober. But it is important to understand, that these are just catalysts for this transformation. You need to want it for yourself as well, as a human being you must want to live, love and lead a normal life. None of which are possible when addiction gets in the way. Do not hesitate to seek help, from loved ones, from friends and specially trained professionals. Becoming sober is a long road, and every road begins with the first step. Take yours today.
We all use drugs at some point. Do you like herbal tea? Yep, you are a drug addict. Well, according to most people. People who don’t know any better, so don’t be one of those people and let us at Dara Rehab teach you something new.
Not everyone who uses a drug is a drug addict. Lesson over? Far from it, as we could argue about what is and isn’t “drug” until we are blue in the face, but we shan’t do that today. There are various medicines that are by definition drugs, that people use regularly and yet do not fall victim to addiction. There are many different drugs out there, most illegal and as a rule of thumb, if the drug is illegal it is also highly addictive and unhealthy. However, there is also a very long list of drugs that are perfectly legal, some even without prescription that could eventually lead you to the clutches of addiction. So let us have a look at various stages of drug use and what it takes to become addicted.
Drug experimentation
This is the first and most innocent stage of drug use. Be it a prescription drug like Oxycodone or perhaps something less legal like cocaine or methamphetamines. At this stage, it is nothing more than drug use, as the negative effects of these drugs have not set in. It could be a one-off or a perhaps a couple of times, to try it, experiment with it or just being pressured into doing it by friends or other peers.
Drug misuse
At this stage, the innocent “I just wanted to try it” excuse goes right out of the window. If you have tried an illegal drug more than just once or twice, you are already at this stage. If you have a prescription for some painkillers and you break the recommended dose or schedule of intake set by your physician or a doctor, you are also considered to be misusing the drug. If there are any negative effects of using a drug, it is considered a misuse. It could be anything from being pulled over while driving under influence or making a fool out of yourself while drunk at a party.
Drug abuse
This stage is already very easy to identify. Both in yourself and in others. If you could perhaps talk your way out of judgment from others in the drug misuse stage, drug abuse is as clear cut as it gets. In this stage, the drug is quite literally abused. Its use has become either a regular occurrence or moved to binge use. If you find yourself blacking out at parties and waking up hours later in some dirty public toilet, it is pretty clear you have been abusing your alcohol. People who are abusing drugs are missing appointments, neglect friends, and loved ones and start to exhibit health issues but continue to use regardless.
Drug Addiction
The last and final stage sets in and can be differentiated from the previous ones when the user has developed a distinct dependence of the drug and feels like he cannot live without it. Any idea of controlled use is abandoned and the user needs as much and as often as possible. Everything else either matters very little or not at all. This stage is where a lot of addicts realize that their hobby has gone out of hand and may attempt to reduce the frequency or amounts of use, but ultimately fail. They have developed a strong tolerance for the drug of their choice and as a result need ever-increasing amounts of it. Despite spending ridiculous amounts of money only to feel normal, they still do it. They know it costs them their future, life, relationships, and dignity, but they either don’t want to stop or simply cannot stop due to severe withdrawal symptoms. In some cases, stopping could mean death, as is the case with chronic alcoholics. If people who misuse drugs can be simply talked to and convinced of the error of their ways, a hardcore addict will just nod and dream of the next time he can shoot up or have another drink. Their brain has been rewritten and is no longer able to function without the substance. Professional help is paramount and needs to be sought out as soon as possible. Most addicts want to get clean but are unable to do it on their own. Their best bet at sober and happy life is to check in an inpatient rehabilitation center and finish a detox period and then a rehabilitation course. They need to be taught how to live like normal people and reintegrate in the society. Many of them have been addicts for so long, that even basic social skills and concepts have to be taught anew.
Being an addict is not the end of the world. At worst case scenario it is an end of the world that just never ends. Stop this downwards spiral today and seek help to get back on your feet and turn your life around. You have the right to be happy, sober and functioning human being, just like anyone else. Look at yourself and try to identify, at what stage are you? What stage seems familiar when you think of your friends or family? There is time to do something about it.
The more experience I get working as an addictions counsellor, the more I am convinced that learning to be mindful is key to a successful recovery.
AUTOPILOT
Have you ever sat down to eat a meal, and before you know it, you’ve demolished the whole thing without thinking? How about getting behind the wheel, and then reaching your destination without remembering anything about the journey? Don’t worry, most people have. These are classic examples of mindlessness, or when our brain goes into “automatic pilot”.
In active addiction, the mind is often on automatic pilot – the individual goes from one “hit” to the next, often not even noticing the process that occurs between the trigger and the reward. They may find themselves using or taking part in addictive behaviour when they didn’t want to, but they just go through the motions anyway.
If you can relate, mindfulness may help you. Why? Because mindfulness is the opposite of mindlessness.
But what, really, is being mindful all about?
Mindfulness originated in ancient Eastern religions, such as Buddhism, Hinduism and Tao. In Buddhism specifically, it was seen as a kind of memory and presence of mind, and used as a practice to contemplate the mind, body and feelings.
The man that brought mindfulness into the scientific spotlight of the West, Jon Kabbat Zinn, describes mindfulness as:
‘Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.’
Okay, so let’s break that down.
Paying attention. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines attention as, ‘the act or state of applying the mind to something’, and ‘a condition of readiness for such attention involving narrowing or focusing of consciousness and receptivity.’
So when we are being mindful, we are involved in the act of applying our mind to something, a process which involves focused consciousness.
It’s on purpose. That means making an effort to do the above.
In the present moment. That means letting go of future worries and past regrets. The only thing that matters in mindfulness is whatever is right here, right now.
Non-judgementally. That means no right or wrong; no good or bad; that means acceptance of whatever is.
So what, you can just do it, anytime, anywhere?
Yes. The beauty of mindfulness practice is that all you need is your mind. There are so many ways of being mindful, sometimes it’s easy to overcomplicate it. Why don’t you try this short, easy exercise for yourself?
Just allow yourself to be still for a few moments. Take a while in between reading each paragraph to do each step of the exercise.
Count three things you can see. Now, don’t just glance at them, really look at them. For instance, if you can see a plant, look at its colours; see how vibrant or dull they are. Look at the way it might be moving or how the light reflect off the leaves. Look at the intricacies in the shape of the leaves or flowers; if you can see close enough, look at the little veins. Just notice all the little components that make that object up in your eyes.
Count three things you can hear. Listen to the volume of the sounds; are they loud or soft or somewhere in between? Listen to the layers of each individual sound, if they exist. Listen to the pitch of each sound. Listen to the proximity of the sounds; are they near or distant? Just notice these three noises.
Finally, count three things you can touch. Feel them one by one. Perhaps you can touch your hair or some fabric of the clothes you are wearing. Perhaps the smoothness of your computer screen. Whatever you choose, take some time to really feel the texture, the temperature, the pressure on your skin.
That’s it! If you took some time to do this properly, hopefully you now feel a little more grounded and “still”. Many clients of mine have been surprised at how easy and simple it can be to introduce mindfulness practice into your day.
HOW MINDFULNESS CAN HELP
Within the last ten years, there has been a deluge of scientific support for the benefits of mindfulness practice. For generally healthy individuals, mindfulness has been shown to reduce rumination (when you get stuck thinking about the various aspects of upsetting situations); reduce stress; boost working memory; focus better; improve emotional reactivity; enhance cognitive flexibility; help with relationships, and in general, enhance quality of life. [1]
For those with addiction problems in particular, mindfulness-based therapy has been shown to help to decrease the consumption of various substances, including alcohol, cocaine, amphetamines, marijuana, cigarettes, and opiates to a significantly greater extent than waitlist controls, non-specific educational support groups, and some specific control groups. [II] In particular, mindfulness-based relapse prevention strategies have demonstrated promising results in averting relapse. [III] Mindfulness based therapy has been found to be especially successful in the treatment of depression, stress and anxiety [IV], problems which often co-occur alongside addiction.
FEEDBACK FROM CLIENTS
Subjectively, many of my clients report (after learning about and practicing mindfulness) that they are better able to “stay in the moment”; to notice what’s going on with them in the “here and now” – their thoughts, emotions and physical feelings; and feel calmer day to day.
Is this after a few months? Actually, most report that they notice the benefits in a few days.
In terms of their experiences after leaving treatment, it seems that mindfulness can help clients to become more aware of their triggers, their reactions to certain situations, and their cravings, which can effectively prevent relapse.
There’s nothing to stop you!
Mindfulness is an easy, accessible and enjoyable practice. It’s easy to learn a few basic techniques all by yourself – all it takes are a few Google searches. Some techniques I would recommend trying out are mindful eating (tricky, but satisfying!), mindful walking, and mindful breathing.
[I]
[II] Chiesa, A., & Serretti, A. (2014). Are mindfulness-based interventions effective for substance use disorders? A systematic review of the evidence. Substance use & misuse, 49(5), 492-512.
[III] Witkiewitz, K., Lustyk, M. K. B., & Bowen, S. (2013). Retraining the addicted brain: A review of hypothesized neurobiological mechanisms of mindfulness-based relapse prevention. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 27(2), 351.
[IV] Khoury, B., Lecomte, T., Fortin, G., Masse, M., Therien, P., Bouchard, V., … & Hofmann, S. G. (2013). Mindfulness-based therapy: a comprehensive meta-analysis. Clinical psychology review, 33(6), 763-771.
Welcome back to Dara. Today we will continue our previous article about the differences between an inpatient and outpatient rehabilitation centers. You can catch up with the previous article here.
Mind over matter
Let’s just begin with acknowledgment, that it’s impossible to simply “wish” your addiction away. It is a hard process. Becoming sober will mean long nights in cold sweat and self-doubt. Before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s refresh what was the difference between an inpatient and outpatient rehabs.
Simply put an inpatient rehab is where the addict is admitted to the facility and is not allowed to leave the property of the rehab until checked out.
An outpatient rehab is a place the addict visits a few times a week, depending on their rehabilitation course. The biggest difference here is that the patient does not remain in the rehabilitation facilities and comes only for their therapy and counseling sessions.
Re-learning to live
Admitting yourself to a rehab is no easy decision. It is never the beginning of the fight, first, the battle of attrition with your own mind must be won. People rarely wish to make drastic changes in their life due to being scared of the unknown is a very strong pillar in human nature.
It is hard enough to tackle your fears and commit to becoming sober, then one must decide to go for an inpatient or outpatient rehab. Fundamentally they are very similar, but it is important to understand that an addict’s mind and reasoning has been impaired by years of substance abuse so one must ask themselves before making this decision – how much do you trust yourself? How easy will it be for you to avoid the temptation of your favorite drug? How long can you go without, until you MUST have some, no matter the cost, effort or ruined relationships?
An inpatient rehabilitation center has quite a lot better track record when it comes to successful cases of becoming sober. The reason being, that inpatient rehabs offer protection from the influence of outside world. It addresses the physical need for using by simply cutting off all supply and any chance of finding some. These first days or weeks, in some cases, can be very difficult to cope with. Many people break and demand to be discharged immediately. If the addict is able to withstand this tough period, the body no longer has physical need to use the drug, from there on out, it is all a mental battle.
Outpatient rehabs rely on you to keep yourself in check whenever you are not in their facilities. They expect you to stay strong despite being in the same environment that resulted in you becoming an addict in the first place. That is the main drawback with outpatient rehabilitation programs. They do work, but people are much weaker than they think they are. A large portion of inpatient rehab residents are people who tried to quit all by themselves at first, failed and then turned to outpatient rehab, but ultimately failed that as well.
Whichever treatment type you choose, they both provide you with support throughout your course. They provide much-needed structure to your life, discipline, and comfort of other like-minded individuals who are going through the same hardships that they are. A sort of camaraderie and mutual understanding is developed, usually reserved for those who experience high-stress environments or situations – people like soldiers, policemen or firefighters just to name a few. These people become your best chance at remaining sociable and engaged with people around you because for best chances at recovery the addict must avoid contact with people that affect him negatively. The dealer, the friends you used with and people that indirectly made you turn to substance use as a means of escape.
Whatever your choice, no better to make that choice than today. Seek help, because an addicts battle, is seldom won by themselves and without supportive people. We, as humans are social beings, being lonely and addicted is the worst kind of combination. You are never alone and there are professionals and other addicts who will do everything they can to make sure you become clean and complete your path to recovery.
If you were to ask bunch of people on the street the following question,
“What sort of stuff do clients talk to their psychologist about?”
You would probably get a list of things like:
-Feelings of depression,
– Problems with their marriage,
– Worries and anxieties,
To name but a few.
The common consensus would probably be that the only reason you go to a psychologist, a psychiatrist (or any kind a therapist for that matter), is to talk exclusively about,
Negative stuff.
GLASS HALF FULL
In the 1990s a researcher and psychologist by the name of martin Seligman believed that there was a problem with this. He believed there was a disproportionate focus on these perceived ‘negative’ aspects of human thought and emotion. He believed that focusing solely on the mental disorders a client presented with could only ever result in an incomplete understanding of how that person ‘ticked’ so to speak, and therefore could never fully show them how to live a full and meaningful life.
The work of Seligman (and his like-minded peers), started to gain serious traction in the nineties, and their writings, applied practices and research gave rise to a burgeoning field of psychology, now known as ‘positive psychology’.
Martin Seligman defines positive psychology as:
“The scientific study of positive human functioning and flourishing on multiple levels that include the biological, personal, relational, institutional, cultural, and global dimensions of life.”
The exponents of positive psychology argued that after decades of the psychological focus being on mental illness and conditions like depression, anxiety and trauma, it was time to ‘take the blinkers off’ and get people engaging with (and more fully appreciating), their strengths and notjust highlighting their perceived mental weaknesses.
THE TREND OF HAPPINESS
This new way of thinking about well being and mental health really caught on.
Ivy league universities like Harvard started to offer ‘happiness courses’ which were quickly oversubscribed. More and more psychologists started to recalibrate their therapeutic focus, to include more emphasis on personal growth (as oppose to exclusively talking with their clients about psychopathology and mental illness).
There was also a rise in the cultural appetite for all things ‘happy. Movies like ‘eat pray love’ and ‘the pursuit of happiness’ did well at the box office, books like ‘the art of happiness’ were cult hits, and retreat centres with mission statements oriented around happiness started popping everywhere, even in the smallest little one-horse towns.
Nowadays if someone mentions that they care more about their level of happiness than the amount of money in their bank account, there is a decent chance people will nod approvingly as opposed to being shocked or maybe even appalled!
With increasing frequency, people are choosing positive experiences over more cash.
This trend towards quantifying and validating happiness as an almost tangible thing, a commodity worth measuring, has been picked up at a national scale too.
HAPPY COUNTRIES
In 1972 Bhutan started to measure on a yearly basis the Gross National Happiness (GNH) of their population, instead of focusing solely on their Gross Domestic Product (GDP), which is of course, a completely financial measurement of how well a country is doing. In the wake of Bhutan’s example many countries and cities have now created and instigated their own happiness measurements. In 2007, Thailand launched the, ‘Green and Happiness Index’ (GHI). In 2012, the city of Seattle in Washington launched its own happiness index initiative, (emphasizing measures similar to the GNH index), and in 2014, the United Kingdom launched its initiative to assess the well-being and happiness of its citizens.
HAPPINESS – THE ENDLESS PURSUIT
Like a lot of ways of thinking in psychology, this current focus on happiness is not exactly new. A lot of ancient cultures and religions gave lofty credence to the concept of happiness. The early Hebrews believed that you could achieve earthly and heavenly happiness by living in accordance with strict rules laid down by a divine being. The ancient Greeks developed schools of thought based around the concept of attainable happiness, whilst other philosophers were of the opinion that you could reach happiness through logic and rational analysis. Christianity teaches the only path to true happiness (in this life or the next) is if you let Jesus into your heart, whilst Buddhism expounds mindfulness, meditation and freedom from unhealthy attachments as a method of achieving a happier and more balanced life. But what exactly is ‘happiness’ – and how should we define this ethereal thing that we all seem to want more of?
WHAT IS HAPPINESS?
Is partying all night long in the throes of an ecstasy high or alcohol buzz happiness? Does the surge of adrenaline resulting from stealing something (and getting away with it) constitute being happy? Is happiness to be found between the sheets of multiple sexual partners?
There are of course countless and often conflicting views on what happiness ‘is’ and it’s often thought to be defined by the individual, but Sonja Lyubomirsky, professor of psychology at the university of California, riverside (and long time advocate of positive psychology), offers a definition which is fairly comprehensive and accessible to a broad range of people, regardless how they individually get their kicks.
She defines happiness as,
“The experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”
According to this definition true happiness can only really be said to be created through a synergy of the two components of
Superficial pleasure,
and
Deeper meaning.
So whilst someone doing drugs is very likely experiencing superficial emotions of joy, contentment or positive well being whilst they are drunk or high, there is no guarantee that such feelings are associated with deeper thoughts of ones’ life being good, meaningful and worthwhile.
This is especially true during the comedown or hangover phase!
These short-lived pleasure highs (afforded by substance or behavioral addictions) often have an ambivalent or negative effect in the long run, as a lot of our valued clients at DARA can attest to.
Both pleasure and meaning need to be in the mix to make the ‘secret sauce’ of happiness.
True happiness therefore (as expounded by advocates of positive psychology), is all about experiencing pleasure in the context of the things that connect deeply with your core values.
So now we have a definition to work with, and we have some concept of the difference between pleasure and happiness,
But we still don’t know what can contribute to our level of happiness. So how can we better cultivate it?
CULTIVATING HAPPINESS
According to Lyubomirsky,
50% of our experience of true happiness is the result of our genetic makeup,
10% is due to our life circumstances,
and
40% depends on our daily activities. So that means we can influence a huge chunk of our happiness – almost – just by behaving in a positive way!
But what should you do to move the needle on this 40 percent?
According to the ‘greater good science center’ research institute at the Berkeley university of California, there are 7 key steps you can use right now to kick-start your happiness
1 – Pay attention – studies show that mindful people have stronger immune systems and are less likely to be hostile or anxious.
2 – Keep friends close – social connections are key to happiness. Research indicates its quality more than quantity: make time for the closest to you.
3 – Give thanks – research reveals the enormous power of simply counting our blessings. Regular expressions of gratitude promote optimism, better health and greater satisfaction with life.
4 – Drop grudges – when we forgive those who have wronged us we feel better about ourselves, experience more positive emotions, and feel closer to others.
5 – Get moving – regular exercise increases self-esteem, reduces anxiety and stress, and may well be the most effective instant happiness booster of all.
6 – Practice kindness – being kind to others makes us feel good. Altruistic acts light up the same pleasure centers in the brain as food and sex.
7 – Get rest –research has linked lower sleep to lower happiness.
An interesting study by Nobel prize-winning psychologist Daniel kahneman, found that getting just one more hour of sleep might have a greater effect on happiness than a $60,000 raise.
Like everything we tell our clients here at DARA, don’t take our word for it, or even the words of the researchers and scientific experts! We are all individuals, so try it out for yourself and see if positive psychology and the practices listed above work for you!
We can’t guarantee that this advice will definitely bring happiness,
But the pursuit of happiness?
That is after all,
your unalienable right!
(based on:
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Due to the philanthropic subsidy and gratitude of key alumni members, DARA is able to offer one of the worlds’ most affordable and cost-effective luxury rehabilitation solutions. The treatment center has been re-appropriated from a former luxury tropical resort, and so a comparable level of care elsewhere in the world can cost anywhere from three to six times more. DARA provides a range of luxury accommodation options including sea view, garden view and private pool villas. Our villas are surrounded by beautifully landscaped tropical gardens and command elevated sunset views over the Western Pacific.
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The first Drug and Alcohol Recovery Center in Asia with world-class care and treatment. DARA Drug & Alcohol Rehab Asia is a full licensed bu Thailand's Ministry of Public Health, Located on the exotic island of Koh Chang.
DARA Rehab has been changing lives for more than 10 years and has been trusted by international clients around the world.
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