There are times in life when we must speak up for ourselves and what we need. If in active addiction or entering recovery, this is one of those times. You must be willing to ask for help and accept it if offered. Recovery is not something you should undertake alone, the recovery support of others is very important. This is obviously not the only time in life when you may need to speak up, but it is an important one. Recovery usually means emotions are running high as things can seem to all be changing at once. How you speak up during times like these can determine how seriously people take you. The remainder of this article will help you learn to speak up in the right way so your point of view and needs can be heard.
The first step is to not try to force people into seeing want you want them to see, but instead find a way for them to see it. Being forceful with people will turn them off an idea faster than finding a way for them to see it in a better light. Another way to think of this is to be a revolutionary, not a warrior. Even though you may be fighting for your idea or point of view, it is not a good idea to enter any conversation with guns blazing. Think about it would you rather someone ask to borrow your car or tell you they are taking your car no matter what?
Compose your statements appropriately. Use the following ideas. Speak for yourself. Use ‘I” when you state your point of view and suggest action, summarize your backstory to show reasoning, explain what led you to this moment, describe the desired outcome, declare your expectations, and compromise only what you are comfortable with at that time. Each of these will be explained in further detail below.
Speaking for yourself and using I statements is very important. This is your idea so use your own words and speak from the heart. Use statements like ‘I would like to do…’ or ‘I would like to see xyz happen’. Being yourself will sell your idea and points more quickly than trying to force an idea on someone.
Next summarize your backstory and explain what led you to this moment. If you have made the decision to go into recovery and are sharing this with others, explain what point made you realize this is what you needed. In addition you need to declare your expectations. You need to make it clear both what you are willing to do and what you will expect of others. This should be as clearly thought out as every part of your conversation. Once your idea is presented it is likely that what you have proposed will meet with some hesitation. People may want you to compromise in some areas. Stand up for your ideas, but if there is an area you are willing to compromise on, then know how far you will take that compromise.
This method allows you to stand up for and present your wants, needs, and ideas in a way that people will consider what you are saying and take the idea into consideration. Some people may want to argue with you. But you must remember to stay calm, stay on track, and not get distracted. Being prepared is important.
If you need to take a stand on something or share an idea practice and prepare ahead of time. This will make it easier to present the necessary information. You can do anything if you simply set your mind to it, so make your thoughts, needs, and ideas known.
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