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It is hard to sit back and watch a family member or friend struggle with an alcohol dependence. If you are reading this article, it is likely you are looking for a way to help your loved one who is using alcoholism as a means to cope. The person may or may not want your help, but your are searching for ways to guide him toward recovering from the addiction. Here are some ways you can do to help your loved one with his alcohol dependence issues.

To start, learn as much as you can about addiction. It will aid you to know how to best guide your loved one. There are many reliable websites online to look at to educate yourself about addiction.

Set a specific time to talk to your family member or friend. Decide on a neutral place or a place where the two of you can talk openly about the subject. Make sure you will be able to have the person’s undivided attention and distractions are few. Do not have this conversation when the person has already been drinking. If the person has already been drinking, then he will only be more agitated.

Be honest with the person you care about who is suffering from addiction. If your relative or buddy has an alcohol problem, whether he can see it or not, you should talk with him about it. An alcoholic is typically not willing to bring up his problem addiction because he is ashamed and embarrassed by it. It is often easier to deny he has a problem than talking about it. If the person is dependent on alcohol, then there are possibly numerous ramifications to stopping alcohol use for him, both emotionally and physically. You can approach the person to let him know how worried you are about him. However, do not be surprised if the person reacts negatively to you bringing up your concern about his alcohol use. Instead, be prepared for the resistance you might receive. Also, keep in mind you cannot force anyone to change or want recovery, but you can help him understand why you believe he needs help for his alcoholic tendencies. Do not be judgmental and be sincere when you are talking to your loved one about this topic. Try to put yourself in his shoes and think about how you would want someone to talk to you if a loved one was talking to you about these issues.

Rehearse what you will say before speaking to your family member or friend. Practice positive ways of saying what you want to say, rather than phrasing them in a negative connotation. Prepare yourself for negative responses you may encounter in return. Practice how you will handle the conversation if the person get angry. How will you remain calm and bring the conversation back to a less negative place? Practice with a friend if that will help you feel more relaxed about having this type of conversation with your loved one. Practicing will aid you in feeling more confident while communicating with your loved one about this topic.

If the individual is willing, ask him to make a firm commitment to make a change. Realize the person may mess up along his path to sobriety because committing to change is often very difficult, but asking him to make a commitment will allow some leverage to hold him accountable.

Request others family members or friends to get involved and talk to the alcoholic about his addiction and have them tell him why they see it as a problem. You can seek professional help for yourself and ask your loved one to seek professional help as well. By getting professional help yourself, the counselor can help you learn new ways of talking to your friend and perhaps develop a better plan with you of how to push your loved one toward the path to recovery. Helping a loved one get over an addiction can be taxing on a person’s life, so make sure you are seeking help for your emotional and physical help as well. A counselor can help you deal with the stress you are feeling about your loved one’s addiction too. There are also many support groups set up to help family members and friends of addicts, so those groups might be a good thing to look into to help you deal with your feeling about your loved one’s addiction also. Providing counseling for your loved one will allow a professional to assess his addiction and provide a plan to move forward. A professional can also help the person understand why he needs to go to a treatment facility if necessary and calm his fears related to his recovery process.

Know that it is important to always be there for the person, even throughout the treatment process. Keep in mind, treatment for drinking is not always foolproof the first go around. It may take several tries for the person to remain abstinent from booze. Addiction is a disease and fighting the battle of sobriety is often very difficult. Have patience with your friend or family member when he is recovering from this disease. Encourage him when he messes up instead of shaming him and support him and praise him when he is on the right track. It is also a good idea to find out what he learns throughout his treatment process and help him stay on track with his goals. Be invested long-term to help him continue on his path of recovery. Remember to be supportive, but refrain from being codependent. Do not get so wrapped up in your loved one’s recovery that you lose yourself. If you believe you are codependent, seek help from a professional to overcome these issues in your life too.

The best thing to do when your family member or friend is dealing with alcoholism is to educate yourself. Next, you should rehearse what you want to say to him and, then, talk to him about how it affects your life as well as his life. Ask him to make changes in his life and to get help for his problem. More importantl, be there for him while he is going through the difficult recovery process and removing alcohol from his life. Constantly remind him you are there to support him through his journey to better his life and to have freedom from drinking.

Typically, when there is an addiction in a family, the roles of the family are created around the person with the substance abuse problem. After these roles are set, if someone tries to change or switch roles, the stability of the entire family system is thrown off. Even if it is the addict who changes, it throws off the equilibrium and all the relationships within the family must change in order to become balanced again. Even though the equilibrium can be thrown off because of changes of family roles it does not mean it is negative to change those relationship dynamics within the family.

Here are the usual characteristics experienced in families with addiction.

Addict-The person with the substance abuse problem is the addict. Everything the household does revolves around this person.

Enabler-The enabler is often the spouse of the addict or the oldest child in the family system. This individual is the one making sure things, such as the financial responsibilities, are taken care of and making sure the children are cared for. This individual is the caretaker of the home and generally tries to protect the addict from harm. Often the person is taking care of these items in order to save face in the outside world and present and outward appearance that there is no problems in his family. This person can rarely see the depth of his loved one’s substance abuse problem because he spends so much time covering up the problem instead of dealing with it. He covers up the problem because it is too painful to deal with in reality. In actuality, this particular person is really doing more harm than being helpful by enabling the addict because he is not allowing the addict to experience the consequences of her substance abuse. This role is exhausting because the person is always trying to maintain the balance within the family.

Hero-The hero goes above and beyond to pick up the slack where her parent is lacking due to his substance abuse. She may take on parental roles she is under qualified to do, such as financially providing for younger siblings. This person tries to fix the family in whatever way she can. Deep down this person often hopes she can change the parent’s addiction by being good. There is a sense of pressure these individuals feel to be responsible and help where the addict lacks responsibility. Therefore, this child will generally strive for perfection in most tasks she participates in as well. However, this young person is often filled with stress from the burden of responsibility and perfection she believes she must uphold to present everything as put together to the outside world. She is also often fearful of the outcome if everyone noticed she or her family is not as composed as they seem to portray. She is trying to avoid shameful feelings at all cost because it reminds her of what if feel like to live in a family of addiction.

Scapegoat-Often the scapegoat is the kid who appears out of control due to his parent’s substance abuse problem. He is typically the rebel of the family. This youngster can be in trouble at school, for stealing or in trouble with the law. He is trying to shield himself from the negative feelings he is experiencing at home by acting out. He can gain attention from others outside of the home by acting this way. This young one often feels much anger toward the substance using parent and the chaos he feels in his home.

Mascot-The mascot is typically the comedian of the family or the family jokester. She uses her sense of humor to lighten the tension and take the focus off of the substance abuse happening in her family, even if it is just a temporary fix. Although she appears confident, she is most of the time hiding behind the silliness she is creating to distract her and others from what is really happening within her family. She is often embarrassed by her family situation and feels insecure, so she covers it with the jokes she creates.

Lost Child-The lost child seems to be disconnected and isolated from the family. This child does not have a close relationship with other family members. Therefore, she can find it hard to interact and connect with her peers as well. These individuals sometimes engage in make believe as a way to distance themselves and cope with the issues at home. They typically try to go unnoticed as way to avoid being sucked into the family’s addiction drama.

As you can see, substance abuse is not experienced by simply the addict himself, but it impacts the entire family unit, so it is important for the entire family to seek help in order for the addict to be freed from his addiction. The roles listed above are neither good nor bad, but they must change in order for the substance abuse to cease.

 

Find alternatives to quit drinking. Find new, healthy habits, activities or relationships to fill up your time instead of drinking alcohol. Seek other ways to deal with anxiety, stress or depression as well.

Stay away from things that urge you to want to use alcohol. Think about what triggers your mind to want to drink alcohol. Is it a person or a place? Whatever it is, try to avoid those things in order to stop using alcohol as a crutch for the underlying problem in your life. Are there certain activities that make you want to booze more, such as a sporting event, party or staying up too late? If these things make you want to drink, plan other options to stay away from these events until you can get your drinking problem under control. If your watering hole was on your way home from work, you may need to develop a new route home. Are there certain people you typically drink alcohol with? It might be worth finding a new set of friends to hang out with, so you are not tempted to drink when you are around your old alcohol drinking buddies. If you typically drink alcohol at home, make sure you clean out all alcohol from your house to avoid falling into the trap of boozing while you are at home alone. If there is no alcohol in your house or your desk at work (or wherever the craving hits you), then it will be easier to fight the urge to drink. You may still have the craving, but there will be no alcohol available!

Have a procedure in place for when a sudden trigger hits you. Set goals and make a list of ways to accomplish the goals you set. Call an accountability partner or a friend your trust to talk through how you are feeling and the urges you are experiencing. Have an activity available that you enjoy doing, such as exercise or any other hobby you love. Calm yourself with music. Distract yourself with other healthy behaviors you can think of doing. Do things besides drinking, and chances are your mood will feel better too! Be creative when developing a list of things to distract your mind from drinking. Exerting your energy elsewhere will allow you to cope with the problems in a more productive way as opposed to drinking alcohol.

Know your weaknesses when it comes to drinking. There will be times when you are not prepared for the desire to use alcohol to rear it’s ugly head, so learn your weaknesses to help you fight temptations in the times you may are unprepared for it to happen to you. If you are out with friends, have a go to non-alcoholic drink you order. Remember to be firm in your “no” to use alcohol, even when you are caught off guard. If you have a plan and are prepared, even for those unexpected times, you will be more likely to fight off the urges to drink. It is best to develop a plan, so you do not hesitate or second guess your decision to quit drinking.

Constantly remind yourself why you have chosen to stop drinking. Make list and carry them with you if you need to do so. If you suddenly have something trigger you to want to drink, pull them out and read them. Look back at the reasons you decided to quit often.

Do not beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon and do drink again. Overcoming an alcohol addiction is not easy, so ease up on yourself and refine your methods if your attempt to cease drinking fails. Look at it this way, if you backslide in your recovery, you can use your slip up as a learning experience of ways to improve your methods in the future. If you drink because you left alcohol in your house and thought you would not fall victim to it, then use it as a learning experience to not keep alcohol in your house in the future. Also, remember to take it one day at a time. Every day you do not drink is a successful day. Congratulate yourself when you make progress and recognize it is not the end of the world if you mess up while trying to quit drinking. Hop back on the train toward recovery and learn from the mistakes you make.

Seek help for an alcohol abuse problem when it is out of your control. It is a good idea to get help for the underlying issues that are causing you to drink as well. If your alcohol dependence is getting in the way of your everyday life, it may be time to seek professional help to overcome the issue.

Hopefully this advice will help you curb your alcohol urges and lead you down the path of recovering from your alcohol addiction.

The fact that addiction will damage your health, wealth and home life becomes increasingly apparent to those who regularly takes illegal substances.

They are leaving themselves wide open to dependence issues and should never think:

It couldn’t possibly happen to me:

WRONG! Very, very wrong. Addiction is non-selective; it is not racist or sexist. It has a hunger that is frightening and a net it casts wide.

The illicit substances that are its recruiting agents are persuasive. They introduce themselves with cracking highs and dreamlike experiences. Users are given an immediate provisional membership card stamped “Keep taking and full membership is yours”.

Everyone dabbling with drugs is at risk of addiction:

It would be foolish to state that everyone who uses illegal substances will automatically become dependent upon them, but this does not alter the fact that regular users are creaking open a very dark door.

How far their journey through it continues is open to negotiation. Many millions of men and women realise that their drug use is escalating too quickly for comfort and will stop before it is too late.

Unfortunately there are also many who find increased use snowballs into dependence. These men and women will eventually face up to the fact that only time, perseverance and the assistance of professional rehabilitation services will they stand a chance of beating their habit.

Tolerance:

Addiction will damage your health, wealth and home life largely thanks to ‘Tolerance’ in terms of drug use this really does spell ‘T’ for trouble.

The tolerance we are talking about relates to your mind and body. They both take to your drug of choice with an enthusiasm that is scary.

Because of the very pleasant highs received your mind and body are quick to latch on. They will persuasively encourage you to ‘feed’ this need on a regular basis.

The problem is that such tolerance is not satisfied with receiving the same amount of the drug each time.

Users quickly find this approach leads to a reduction of the powerful highs initially experienced. To ensure ‘quality’ highs are maintained your mind will quickly oblige with a solution:

The natural ‘answer’ to tolerance:

To continue experiencing those powerful highs the natural answer is to take more of the drug on a more frequent basis.

And guess what? It does the trick, at least for a short while, but fairly soon that ‘hit’ needs to be increased and so your downward spiral into addiction continues.

Please be very clear: Your mind and body have a tolerance that will continue to grow and thus encourage you to take more to satisfy these intense cravings.

Addiction will damage your health, wealth and home life – Part 1:

Persistent drug use will damage your health in various ways. Not just physically but also mentally.

Those dependent upon drugs find their sleep patterns become irregular. The effects of certain drugs will mean they have no desire to sleep for long periods.

When they do fall into an uneasy sleep, or one that has been brought about through sheer exhaustion they will sleep for excessively long periods. Losing a day here or there can become a common occurrence.

Their diet is generally shot to pieces. Long periods of not eating or simply snacking will become commonplace. This is often followed by excessive food bingeing sessions.

Physical exercise will become a thing of the past, and the potential damage to your internal organs does not bear thinking about.

Because your body is an amazingly resilient ‘machine’ a lot of this physical damage can heal fairly quickly once an addict has committed to long term rehab assistance, but the psychological effects are often not so forgiving. Many ex-addicts suffer from extended mental issues that last long after they have stopped use.

Addiction will damage your health, wealth and home life – Part 2:

It goes without saying that heavy drug use comes at a price to your bank balance. Those early, cheap scores offered by your ‘friendly’ dealer were not an act of kindness or charity.

They were made in the full knowledge that once a user gets a taste for their drug(s) of choice this habit will steadily empty existing cash reserves while healthily topping up the dealers.

In many cases desperate times lead to desperate measures and those with drug dependence issues will turn to stealing from their loved ones, opportunist theft, petty burglaries and prostitution as means of obtaining that much needed cash.

The only thing that really matters to an addict is that they have enough money to feed their ever growing habit.

Addiction will damage your health, wealth and home life – Part 3

It is a very sad fact, but those dependent upon drugs are fully aware of the pain and anguish caused to family and/or partners. While they are aware of it this will not stop them inflicting such hurt.

They will convince themselves that their actions are nowhere near as damaging as they actually are. They will constantly tell themselves that this is only a temporary situation and they will make full amends ‘soon’.

If you are an addict in this situation then it is time to face up to the undeserved grief you are causing. Those nearest and dearest to you will generally show a loyalty that is borne from love and concern.

Just two examples of this loyalty are that they will suppress their real feelings when money or household belongings mysteriously disappear in the hope they will eventually ‘turn up’. They will also be the first to stand up and defend you against critics.

What is very important for all heavy drug users to understand is that these courageous people have their own breaking point. Your continued drug use and associated actions will eventually tip them over this point.

Deep down an addict knows the trouble and sadness they are causing. Unless they find the inner strength to seek professional drug rehab assistance they will end up out in the cold and alone.

Addiction will damage your health, wealth and home life – Stop the rot!

Those who feel their drug use is getting out of hand, or those already dependent upon their drug of choice need to stand up and be counted.

Continuing down this road will lead to a dead end in a vehicle that has no reverse gear. These users need to admit to themselves how serious their problem is and take the brave step of seeking rehab treatment.

Such a move will be the first large stride on the road to recovery. It will spawn a realisation that there is a life waiting which spells hope, and just as importantly that life will be one to be enjoyed without the need for drugs.